Main

Films seen in January
Note – I’ve tried time and time again to offer up brief reviews of every film I watch, which by now I have to confess is an impossible chore for me stay on top of. To keep myself somewhat dedicated to this site, I’m going to at least try to offer reviews of all the recent films I see. So anything I see made within the last 3 years, plan on finding a review in this log.
Return to main page

Only in Japan can a film this crazy actually get made and with the modest production values it deserves. We are talking about a professional wrestling film that deals with a mysterious 8ft. squid bent on claiming the championship title. Similar to Takashi Miike’s Zebraman, Kawasaki manages to easily top that film by abandoning CGI effects in favor of campy ‘theme-park’ style costumes and a hilariously awful approach to the action. It’s a bit long at 90-minutes, however I can’t imagine anything this original could disappoint even the most jaded of viewers. As parody of American sports films like The Karate Kid and Rocky, it’s absolutely priceless. How TIFF ‘Midnight Madness’ programmer Colin Geddes passed on this is beyond me.

05. The Shootist (1976, USA) Don Siegel -

a must see

06. Hail the Conquering Hero (1944, USA) Preston Sturges -

Excellent

07. Assault on Precinct 13 (1976, USA) John Carpenter - [fifth viewing; no change in rating] - raised to best film of '76

08. Curdled (1996, USA) Reb Braddock -

worth seeing

09. Curdled (1991, USA) Reb Braddock [short] - blah

10. Escape from New York (1981, USA) John Carpenter -

worth seeing [second viewing; rating lowerd from ***] - this strikes me as Carpenter's worst.

11. The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970, UK) Billy Wilder -

worth seeing

The directorial debut from the man responsible for the impressive make-up effects in Matthew Barney’s ‘Cremaster Cycle’ turns out to be a colossal disappointment. An ultra-low-budget Craven/Hooper rip-off involving a family of freaks who slaughter unsuspecting tourists, the film is made even worse by its surreal “anything goes” approach, a gimmick used mainly to conceal that the filmmaker hasn’t the slightest idea what he is doing. Not even Warwick Davis, appearing as a demented plate-wielding midget named (yep, you guessed it) Plates, could get me to muster the slightest bit of interest in this.

There is no doubt that Steven Spielberg is a filmmaker of incredible talent, in particular, one with an innate gift for visual storytelling. Munich displays the range of this talent as Spielberg seems to know exactly the right kind a shot – when the camera should be handheld, or when to use a dolly, etc. – added to which his ability to wield this talent to elicit a desired psychological effect in the viewer is equally frightening. The problem lies in the fact that this ‘gift’ of Spielberg’s only works when he is making a nail-biting adventure film (Jaws, Duel) and to apply these techniques to a project that is intent on conveying a deeper importance (ie. political message) results in nothing but a string of half truths; a filmmaker whose heart is in two places at the same time. Munich wants to be an artful reflection of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict mirroring the post-9/11 American “War on Terror,” but has trouble pulling this off, since a well-executed episode of Mission Impossible is what the film genuinely is.

The most effective and worthwhile horror movie to splatter the screens of mainstream cinema in quite some time, this is a crass and obnoxious film about a group of American backpackers who party their way through Europe on the endless quest for “pussy” and wind up the victims of a nasty business specializing in torture. I can’t speak for the work-print that director Eli Roth screened to several festivals, but based on the strong negative response that many people I know had to that cut, I can only assume he has significantly reworked the film. This “theatrical version” (one imagines that DVD will bring yet another, more extreme cut) shows that Roth has no pretensions about the type of film he is making, his characters are a reprehensible bunch whose favorite words include ‘pussy,’ ‘fag,’ and ‘retard’, the nudity is gratuitous, and the plot screams of contrived. Yet, the fact that the film is so hell-bent on making you hate certain aspects of American culture, and that it then makes you pay for this hatred, raises it out of the gutter where recent shit films like Saw II reside, and gives you something to think about. Horror cinema in this country is in the midst of something special, and Hostel, like Joe Dante’s Homecoming and George A Romero’s Land of the Dead, go to prove where some of America’s most relevant films can be found.

16. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.1 "Dead Right" (1990, USA) Howard Deutch -

has redeeming facet

17. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.2 "The Switch" (1990, USA) Arnold Schwarzenegger -

worth seeing

18. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.3 "Cutting Cards" (1990, USA) Walter Hill -

a must see

19. Escape from L.A. (1996, USA) John Carpenter -

worth seeing

20. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.4 "Til Death Do We Part" (1990, USA) Peter Iliff -

worthless

21. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.5 "Three's a Crowd" (1990, USA) David Burton Morris -

worth seeing

22. Duel in the Sun (1946, USA) King Vidor -

a must see

23. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.6 "The Thing from the Grave" (1990, USA) Fred Dekker -

has redeeming facet

It’s a little late to convince anyone on this film -- most seem to either love it or hate it -- and I doubt there is a whole lot I can add to either side of the debate as I find myself pitching tent on the awkward grounds somewhere between the love and the hate camps. Ang Lee’s film is a worthwhile reworking of Western iconography, most notable for the way that he forgoes the usual cinemascope frame in favor of a framing that can include more vertical information (1.85:1). This works exceptionally at the beginning of the film where Lee tends to frame every actor against the backdrop of the mountain, creating some beautiful compositions, while at the same time deconstructing the image of the ‘Cowboy.’ Somewhere midway through the film however, Lee seems to lock into storytelling mode and the picture becomes an unremarkable string of quick scenes as time passes and his characters get older. By the time the film finally finds its poetic heart and delivers one hell of a crushing ending, I was willing to forgive the uneven center and give in to the tear-jerking soundtrack that I had been relentlessly fighting. Hats off to Heath Ledger, this is his film all the way, and bullshit politics aside, it should be his Oscar as well.

25. Masters of Horror : Episode 9 - "Fair Haired Child" (2005, USA) William Malone -

has redeeming facet

26. Duel (1971, USA) Steven Spielberg -

a must see

27. I Was Possessed by God (2000, USA) Caveh Zahedi [short] -

worthless

28. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003, USA) Quentin Tarantino -

a must see [3rd viewing; no change in rating]

29. 2LDK (2002, Japan) Tsutsumi Yukihiko -

a must see [2nd viewing; no change in rating]

30. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2. 7 - "For Cryin' Out Loud" (1990, USA) Jeffrey Price -

has redeeming facet

31. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.8 - "The Sacrifice" (1990, USA) Richard Greenberg -

worth seeing

Adopting the ebb and flow of your basic MTV special, but without the commercial conceits, cliff hanger commercial pauses, forced storylines, and a far more rigid dedication to the material, DiG! is something of a minor miracle. A film that captures not only the harsh truths of the music industry, but one that in a haze of cigarette smoke and booze, displays a perfectly guileless study into the egocentric world of musicians. It’s a ‘cool’ movie with a built-in cult following, but like all great documentaries, it functions as a mirror to the culture that embraces it. Ten years from now this won’t be some Dylan or Stones time capsule piece, but a righteous send-up of my generation by way of two all but forgotten bands. [editor’s musical preference note: The Dandy Warhols make me cringe, and even though I think The Brian Jonestown Massacre is a remarkable niche in their own right, to call them the next VU makes me cringe harder.]

I must confess a certain amount of adoration for the eccentric and frighteningly ‘cutesy’ worlds that McKee effortlessly creates in both this, and his previous film, May. Each of these works would not be so successful were it not for the truly splendid reticent performances from Angela Bettis, who seems to be so in-synch with her director, one can’t help but be reminded of the Depp/Burton collaborations. “Sick Girl” is one of the best episodes of this series, which if you haven’t already done so, you owe to yourself to check out. Directors like Argento, Carpenter, Dante, and Gordon have churned out some of their best work in years, and in my book, McKee has earned a spot next to those names. [editor's note: I’ve not seen All Cheerleaders Die, Lucky McKee’s first film, but if anyone knows where I can find a copy please drop me a line.]

35. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.10 - "The Ventriloquist's Dummy" (1990, USA) Richard Donner -

has redeeming facet

36. Cabin Fever (2002, USA) Eli Roth -

worth seeing [3rd viewing; no change in rating]

37. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.11 - "Judy, You're Not Yourself Today" (1990, USA) Randa Haines -

has redeeming facet

38. It's All About Love (2003, USA) Thomas Vinterberg -

worthless

39. The Professionals (1966, USA) Richard Brooks -

a must see

40. Maniac Cop (1988, USA) William Lustig -

a must see [2nd viewing; no change in rating]

41. Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone (2001, Argentina) Pablo Parés & Hernán Sáez -

has redeeming facet

Represents just about everything that is wrong in American cinema. Despite some tremendous talent in the cast, most of the performances are hampered by their awkward English deliveries; this is after all, a 145-minute film set in Japan featuring not a single subtitle. What this film boils down to is, a glossed over look at Japanese culture aimed at audiences who could give a flying fuck about learning about another culture. Sets and costumes are attractive, but serve nothing other than to conceal the hollowness behind the bloated spectacle of it all. See for instance Marshall’s treatment of the war which is reduced to a couple of passing shots of planes, scenes with the actors wearing less make-up (they’re suffering after all), and John Williams god awful score kicking into ‘sad mode’. We learn nothing about the ‘life of a geisha’ other than that they look foreign, hence exotic and sexy, and American fashion designers rejoice, "Let's use this to sell us some new styles!" I imagine Marshall’s biggest obstacle when starting this consumer-minded production was the realization that he was going to have to do it with [gasp] real Asians. Michael Bay, you are starting to have yourself some competition.

43. California Split (1974, USA) Robert Altman -

Masterpiece

44. Tales From the Crypt - Season 2.12 - "Fitting Punishment" (1990, USA) Don Mancini -

worth seeing

45. Junebug (2005, USA) Phil Morrison -

a must see - DVD reviewed here

46. Uncle Sam (1997, USA) William Lustig -

a must see [2nd viewing; rating up from **]

47. In the Bathtub of the World (2001, USA) Caveh Zahedi -

a must see

48. Maniac (1980, USA) William Lustig -

a must see [2nd viewing; rating up from **]

49. Q: The Winged Serpent (1982, USA) Larry Cohen -

a must see [2nd viewing; no change in rating]

I’ve been putting off writing something about this, as I’ve felt I am too much in awe of it to say anything worthwhile, and while this still may be the case, forgive me as I try not to fawn (too heavily) over the best film of 2005. This is a great, goddamn masterpiece of a movie. A picture of uncompromising beauty and lyrical sweep, this is at once an excellent historical drama and a timeless tale of love and human connection. Malick edits his images with a grace that defies classification. Images seemingly flow into one another simultaneously evoking the insight of great prose, the elegance of a brush stroke, the passion of a major chord. His characters feel real, yet his approach to them is far more abstract, inflecting an almost transcendent quality to them. The performances are all first rate with Colin Farrell and Christian Bale exceeding all expectations, but it is the incomparable Q'Orianka Kilcher, who at just 15 years old, turns in the performance of a lifetime. With just a single glance, her stunning, subtle portrayal of the love torn Pocahontas was capable of making me weep like a child. Ten years from now I expect I will still be talking about it, but of course we will be referring to this film as a classic by then.

Cohen’s strong suit has always been his scripts, so the realization that this episode was penned by David J. Schow is immediately a bit of a letdown. The story about two opposing serial killers – one a truck driver named Wheeler who preys on hitchhikers, the other a hitchhiker named Walker who preys on drivers – has an air of Cohen wit to it, but never manages to congeal into something greater. Longtime Cohen axiom Matthew Moriarty turns in a righteously hilarious performance as the sadistic truck driver, he single-handedly carries the show while his counterpart played by Warren Kole is a one-dimensional bore. Eventually this reveals itself to be an above average Twilight Zone episode, and while that’s nothing to boo-hoo about, I have to call it a wasted opportunity from Cohen, one of this country’s most underused directorial talents.

A change of pace from Woody Allen, who has been on the receiving end of a vehement critical backlash these last few years. Most of the praise critics have been lavishing on this film feels like they are merely excited about the fact that they responded to ‘a Woody Allen’ movie – something they forget they were actually capable of doing– and as a film, this is probably no better or worse than any of his recent efforts. Some phenomenal medium shots make this one of Allen’s most appealing works visually, but it doesn’t always work as his actors often appear to have been cast for their good looks and not for their acting chops. The cynical ending, which has led to many a Crime and Punishment comparison, is certainly earned and had me grinning with admiration of Allen’s wit, which of course has never left.

53. Dirty Harry (1971, USA) Don Siegel -

Excellent [first viewing in years; no change in rating]

54. Les Amants du Pont-Neuf (1991, France) Leos Carax -

a must see

55. Alexandra's Project (2003, Australia) Rolf de Heer -

a must see

56. A Time to Live and a Time to Die (1985, Taiwan) Hou Hsiao-hsien -

Masterpiece

57. Prince of Darkness (1987, USA) John Carpenter -

a must see [2nd viewing; rating lowered from ****]

58. The Stuff (1985, USA) Larry Cohen -

a must see [3rd viewing; no change in rating]

59. Orgazmo (1997, USA) Trey Parker -

worthless

60. The Long Goodbye (1973, USA) Robert Altman -

Excellent

61. Vigilante (1983, USA) William Lustig -

a must see

62. God's Angry Man (1980, West Germany) Werner Herzog [short] -

a must see

63. Krull (1983, USA) Peter Yates -

worth seeing [first viewing in years; loved it as a kid]

64. Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (1972, Italy) Sergio Martino -

worth seeing

Take a Mario Bava film, strip it of every ounce of style and atmosphere, and you would be left with something like this; a movie that thinks that the elements of a good horror film are a twisted story and a couple of cheap exploitation shots. I’m not buying it and neither should you. This ranks with Mick Garris’ episode as the worst of the series, both of which should be embarrassed of the ‘Masters’ moniker they carry. And shame on Showtime for nixing the Miike episode, because God knows they wouldn’t want to tarnish their reputation of quality programming.

66. Stage Fright (1987, Italy) Michele Soavi -

a must see

67. Japanese Story (2003, Australia) Sue Brooks -

a must see

68. Pieces (1982, USA) Juan Piquer Simón -

worth seeing

69. The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things (2004, USA) Asia Argento -

a must see

70. The Changeling (1980, USA) Peter Medak -

a must see