Films seen in October 2009 - HALLOWEEN HORROR CHALLENGE.
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02. The Hills Run Red (2009, USA) Dave Parker - worth seeing [C]
A group of film students try to track down a print of a legendary horror film once thought to be lost, only to find that the film itself might not have been a work of fiction. Basically your standard Friday the 13th direct-to-video rip-off, this remains entirely watchable -- thanks to some healthy doses of shameless nudity and gore – but is rather unsuccessful at delivering anything new or memorable. At a lean 78 minutes, this is one of those films that comes in, does its job, and leaves before you’ve really had much time to care.

04. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977, USA) George Barry - a must see
If you are not a fan of surrealist film you should avoid this like the plague. If on the other hand a low budget film about a possessed bed that devours everything from fried chicken to beautiful women, narrated by a man who lives in a box behind a painting sounds intriguing, then by all means run to see this one. George Barry’s cult film was unseen for nearly 30 years, but was re-released by the filmmaker when he discovered that the film had something of a cult following in bootleg circles. The closest thing I can compare this to is the work of Walerian Borowczyk, but even that seems a stretch, as despite the potential, eroticism is the last thing on Barry’s agenda. A singular work, this is not necessarily the product of a great filmmaker, but it provides such an unending string of bizarre images, dreamlike ideas, it’s near impossible to take your eyes off it.
05. Sick Nurses (2007, Thailand) Piraphan Laoyont & Thodsapol Siriwiwat - has redeeming facet [D]
A group of sexy nurses provide the eye candy in this uninspired tale of a group of hospital workers who are harvesting organs for profit and are attacked by the angry ghost of one of their victims. A threadbare narrative filled with plot holes and jarring editing, and hardly any dialogue of consequence, this has picked up supporters in the diehard Argento crowd who praise the film’s wild lighting and over-the-top gruesome set pieces. They may have a case, but Argento was capable of developing suspense and getting the viewer to work with him, while this is nothing but surface.
06. Plague Town (2008, USA) David Gregory - worth seeing [C+]
What the hell is it about children these days??? The Children, Home Movie, Ils, Joshua, Orphan, The Offspring, Acolytes, even Michael Haneke’s The White Ribbon, not to mention remakes of It’s Alive, The Omen, Children of the Corn, etc, etc. one could argue that there is a generalized anxiety about the youth culture of today and the future we have in store. This is a better than average tale about a small English town of leper children and the superstitious townspeople that believe they are victims of a curse. When a family of American tourists gets lost and happens upon the village a healthy does of blood and carnage ensues. Director David Gregory wisely decides to keep the extrapolation and back-story to a minimum, choosing instead to keep his little beasties a mystery and let them wreak havoc in the night.

08. Inferno of Torture aka Hell's Tattooers (1969, Japan) Teruo Ishii - worth seeing
Notorious and little seen Pink film from one of my personal favorite directors in the movement Teruo Ishii, this convoluted tale details the rivalry between two tattoo artists who use prostitutes as their canvases. It’s more an exploitation film, and while this may not necessarily be as mind blowing as Boachi Bushido, there is something to be said for depravity such as this put forth with such a straightforward confidence.

10. Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008, Canada) Jon Knautz - 2nd veiwing; last seen Oct. 2008; no change in rating ***
Having read that the creators of this had a new film in the works, I was curious to see how it held up to a repeat viewing. This was one of my favorite horror films of last year’s marathon, and I’m happy to say that it’s still just as enjoyable. Solid acting and a clever script anchor what is some otherwise old school monster movie fun. Too many films these days are bogged down by horrific CGI in the name of cost savings. If it’s made on a computer, it probably ain’t scary.
11. Offspring (2009, USA) Andrew van den Houten - worth seeing [C-]
Ketchum’s novel was a nasty read with moments of surprising and actually moving humanism. This film adaptation about a clan of feral cave dwellers, who practice cannibalism in contemporary coastal Maine, is more or less just the brutality. I’ll say it’s better than The Hills Have Eyes/Texas Chainsaw re-makes as far as “backwoods thrillers” are concerned, but at a lean 71minutes, it is hard to build any sort of emotional rapport with the audience. This is one that gets under our skin, but in order to really work, it needed to penetrate deeper and get to our hearts.

14. Prison (1988, USA) Renny Harlin - worth seeing
Well-executed, if a bit spectacular, ghost story about a prison that is haunted by an inmate who was wrongfully executed behind its walls some 25 years earlier. The film features a young Viggo Mortensen as an inmate who bears an uncanny resemblance to the angry spirit and Lane Smith is the sadistic warden whom you can’t wait to see get his comeuppance (true sign of a great performance). Renny Harlin secured his job on Nightmare on Elm Street IV with this, and while he keeps things interesting, one can’t help but see that his true calling is for loud, showy effects, and a future as an action director.
15. Oneechanbara: Zombie Bikini Squad (2008, Japan) Yôhei Fukuda [2009 based on DVD premiere] - worthless [F]
How does one fuck up an exploitation concept as interesting as zombies, samurais and bikinis??? Why, turn it into a Matrix style CGI crap-fest that’s how. This was apparently based on a popular video game, and I imagine watching someone play said game can’t be as bad as this.

17. A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973, France, Belgium, etc) Jess Franco - worth seeing
No spoiler warnings necessary here, as suspense and surprise are the last thing on Euro-Sleaze maestro Jess Franco’s agenda, but The Others is a borderline remake of this. A young woman returns to her ancestral castle upon hearing of her father’s death and finds a vast array of deviant and bizarre family members eager to welcome her. Like most Franco works this plays out like a Bunuel film on LSD, with a decent amount of eroticism thrown in the mix, this conjures up an uneasy feeling of a less than coherent nightmare. It takes a while to get going, but by the time the ghost of the deceased father appears moving around the screen dangling from a noose like the paper clerk character from Beetlejuice, I found myself appreciating this sleazy little picture more than I had any right to.

21. Dead Snow (2009, Norway) Tommy Wirkola - a must see [B-]
Exactly the type of film I wished Zombieland were – a comedy and an effective horror film – made by people who obviously have a love for the genre. Where Zombieland plays like a teen comedy with little to no interest in horror films (it actually seems like they are using the horror “image” to bait in box office traffic), this is overloaded with clever nods and references, but that’s not to say that it doesn’t have a few tricks up sleeve as well. A group of med students head to the mountains for a weekend in a ski cabin and get attacked by Nazi zombies – you can’t make this shit up! Fantastic make-up effects, elevate some impressive images to gruesome and highly enjoyable heights. This Norwegian bloodbath may not be the most profound horror film of the year, but it is certainly one of the most enjoyable.
23. City of the Dead (1960, UK) John Llewellyn Moxey - a must see
Amicus horror is every bit as good as Hammer, and this little film, which utilizes more dry ice than all three of The Evil Dead films combined, is a nice branch between the atmospheric horror of the Val Lewton era and a more visceral style of movie that would be 1960’s horror era defined by Peeping Tom and Psycho. You’ve seen the plot before, a young woman interested in the occult gets mixed up with some less than hospitable witches.

25. Tormented (2009, UK) Jon Wright - has redeeming facet [D+]
I’m not familiar with the British TV series “Skins” which this is apparently catering to fans of, so perhaps this is why this British teen slasher left me cold. Bullying other kids is bad, and several attractive brats at a private school discover this the hard way when the object of their ridicule kills himself and comes back from the grave for revenge. Insert facile social commentary, sex scenes preaching condom use, less than creative kills, and more than a few hokey moments (angry spirits aren’t a threat without their Asthmea inhalers). I could certainly think of worse things being produced these days, but movies like these were being produced over a decade ago for fans of a US show… Party of Five, and they weren't so great then either.
26. Paranormal Activity (2007, USA) Oren Peli - a must see [B]
Very effective, borderline brilliant, film-as-haunted-house movie, and while comparisons to The Blair Witch Project are inevitable, they are for the most part out of place. Blair Witch was interested in crafting a mythology with its story, something that elevated the low budget style to near epic proportions inside the anxious imagination's of the viewer. This film is out to frighten, and it does just that, but it does little else in the process. You may sleep with one eye open when you return from the cinema, but you won’t think twice about it once the lights are on. Peli should be commended for what he accomplishes here – it’s a wonder nobody else has done this sooner – repeat viewings are worthless however, as once Peli has played his hand and there are no more surprises in store, his movie reveals itself to be nothing more than successful trick, something you can share with others, but something you won't fall for a second time. This almost surely elminates the possiblility of a cult classic.
27. Cold Prey 2 (2008, Norway) Mats Stenberg - worthless [F]
Remember how bad Halloween 2 was when compared to the original? This is the same thing… right down to the hospital setting. Just 80 minutes of people running around, and not a single iota of plot.
28. Infestation (2009, USA) Kyle Rankin - worth seeing [C]
Solid throwback to the giant insect B-movie’s of the 50’s and 60’s, about a natural born slacker who is part of a small band of people to awaken to find the world has been taken over by web spewing monster bugs. Obviously an attempt to cash in on the Shaun of the Dead crowd, this is an interesting case of a VERY CGI heavy film (even many of the sets are green screen), that manages to work because of both the filmmaker and the actors know how to sell it to an audience.
29. "Chance" - Fear Itself (2008, USA) John Dahl, "Skin and Bones" - Fear Itself (2008, USA) Larry Fessenden - average
Mick Garris’ PG rated version of the horribly underrated Master of Horror series, is better than I thought it would be, but sees most of the talented filmmakers he has brought on-board going through the motions rather than exploring anything new or interesting. Stuart Gordon re-tells John Brahm’s masterful Twilight Zone episode “The Four of Us are Dying” by adding cannibalism and baroque camera angles. John Dahl flirts with Lost Highway style psycho-noir which while beautifully shot, lacks for substance. Future episodes are in my future, but I can see that “risks” were the last thing on Garris’ agenda when he produced this, which is a shame coming from a man whose single greatest entry into the genre was a short story involving a man skull-fucking a deformed infant.
30. Seeding of a Ghost (1983, Hong Kong) Chuan Yang - worth seeing
I knew this was going to be wild, but I had no idea it was going to be this crazy… This is when Category III films meant something (now Johnnie To’s films are slapped with the rating), and indeed we have full frontal nudity, rape, murder, and exploding fetuses. The story is incidental as this plays like seven different films, all edited into one big, convoluted head-trip. Shaw Brothers studios was at a decline when this was produced, and part of me is more anxious to explore these types of bizarre attempts at securing overseas audiences than yet another one of their finely executed martial arts films…

32. Salvage (2006, USA) Jeff & Josh Crook - has redeeming facet [D+]
Interesting twist ending makes this worth waiting out if you give it a try, however the horror elements are rather lame and by the time the convoluted plot worked itself out and hammered home it’s “message,” beneath the blood I got a foul taste of a Christian message. Also, it looks like shit.

34. Footprints (1975, Italy) Luigi Bazzoni - has redeeming facet
comments to come...

36. Razorback (1984, Australia) Russell Mulcahy - has redeeming facet
Reputation precedes this one, and I have to admit I was very letdown. Ozploitation attempt at cashing in on the Jaws craze, this one in the form of a giant boar terrorizing the Australian outback. Everett de Roche pens a competent script, but director Russell Mulcahy goes overboard on the style. Wild bursts of color and surreal matte shots that seem to compare the outback to a Dali painting, lend little, if nothing to the story. Time would have been better spent developing character or suspense.
37. Wasting Away (2007, USA) Matthew Kohnen - worthless [F]
Zombie movie, shot from the zombie’s perspective – remember that old Twilight Zone episode about the eye of the beholder? Same concept. The problem herein lies that this is a comedy and the jokes are PG-rated nonsense and fall flat repeatedly. Call it Wasting Opportunity, as it could have worked.
38. Late Bloomer (2004, Japan) Gô Shibata - worth seeing [C+]
Extreme fringe cinema fans behold, a man with cerebral palsy falls for a female volunteer caretaker of his, and Travis Bickle type behavior ensues. Shot in grungy B&W DV and utilizing all manner of off the wall techniques to convey the main character’s seizures and decaying mental state, Shibata has crafted something closer to an art film than an exploitation work. The afflicted actors are respectfully conveyed and manage to turn in some eerie performances. The stylish interludes are handled with restrain and help to enhance this film as something of an expressionistic work of much substance.


40. The Eyes of Edward James (2006, Canada) Rodrigo Gudiño [short] - Second viewing; last seen Oct.' 06; no change in rating ***
I’m eager for a Gudino feature film.
41. Treevenge (2008, Canada) Jason Eisener [short] - Second viewing; last seen Aug. 09; no change in rating ****
I’m even more eager for an Eisner feature film.

43. Black Devil Doll (2009, USA) Jonathan Lewis - has redeeming facet [D]
More of a softcore film than an exploitation or horror...what a colossal letdown.
45. Vampire's Kiss (1988, USA) Robert Bierman - worth seeing
Pre-dates American Psycho in its critiques of white-collar masculinity but is basically a platform for a manic Cage performance
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